Goofy: Oooooooo. Donald: What is it?
Goofy: Donald look. (Points at sky) Pretty stars.
Donald: Wow that has got to be like the tenth time you said that.
Goofy: But...but it's different each time. That one went down.
Donald: That's the only time it was different.
(Traverse Town Logo)
Donald: Where are we anyway?
Donald: (Sigh) Thirteen bathroom stops. Unbelievable.
Goofy: Hey it's not my fault Jiminy makes such a great lemon snow cone.
Donald: Erm Goofy...
Goofy: You know I think Sora's down there.
Donald: Who the (bleep) is Sora?
Goofy: Hmm good question. Who the (bleep) is Sora? Well Pluto said that and we both speak dog afterall.
Donald: You speak dog?
Goofy: Well I am a dog.
Donald: You're a dog?!!!! What the crap? You look like a giant rat!
Pluto: (Licks Sora)
Sora: Uhhhh Kairi I told you I'm ticklish. Huh? Damnit did you forget to put your make-up on? Seriously...(Pluto nudges Sora) AAH!! Damnit Kairi! I told you I don't like it rough. Damnit. (Stands up) Why does my head hurt? Where am I? I'm like the only person to ever get a hangover from over dose of darkness. Kairi do you know where we are?
Pluto: (Runs away)
Sora: Wait Kairi. Ehh maybe she's stoned again. Damnit I can't find dog-Kairi...wait my Sora senses are tingling. Who are you?
Leon: Hey kid wanna see a dead body? (Sees keyblade) Oh damnit the keyblade. I mean erm do you wanna be a dead body?
Sora: Dude what the crap? You're making no sense.
Leon: Do you wanna hear what makes no sense? Why are former Seed members fighting thirteen year olds?
Sora: Out of my way, I have to find my dog/girlfriend.
Leon: Oh damnit! Can we just get the ass kicking over and out of the way?
(What Sora thinks happened...)
(Fight between Sora and Leon with Sora winning)
(What actually happened...)
Sora: (Knocked out) Worst...weapon store...ever.
Yuffie: Give me an L-E-O-N.
Leon: Oh damnit! Its the legendary cheerleader.
Leon: Look, what's important right now is we're trying to figure out what the (bleep) is up with this kid's shoes.
Kairi: Come on lazy bum wake up.
Sora: (Wakes up) Huh? What the...Kairi? It really is you.
Kairi: Oh Sora I was so worried about you.
Sora: I was really worried about you too Kairi.
Kairi: But now we're finally off the island. We can travel everywhere, we can find Riku and then we're free to live our own lives.
Sora: I'm really glad we're ok Kairi.
Kairi: Well now that you're calling me Kairi, I have something to show you. (Takes off disguise and reveals to be Yuffie)
Yuffie: Ha ha I got you!
Sora: WHAT THE (bleep)?! MOTHER (bleep) B****!!! I MEAN WHAT THE (bleep)!!? I'LL SHOVE THE (bleep) KEYBLADE UP YOUR (bleep)!!! I MEAN WHAT THE (bleep)!? WHAT THE (bleep)!? WHAT THE (bleep)!!!!!!!!!?
Yuffie: Calm the hell down kid! You kiss Kairi with that mouth?
Sora: You can kiss my...
Leon: Sora there are more pressing matters at hand right now. Now I think we had enough swearing for one episode.
Sora: Erm ok I'll be good.
Leon: But first let me show you a magic trick! (Keyblade disappears from Leon's hand and reappears in Sora's) Tada!
Sora: What the fu...
Sora: Sorry. But seriously what is this thing?
Leon: You have to use this keyblade to destroy the heartless.
Sora: Heartless? Oh you mean the squirrels.
Leon: Ok sure. Don't worry they're not all that dangerous.
(Scene where a man is turning into a heartless)
Sora: Why do I feel like Im being screwed over?
Yuffie: Because you are, silly.
Leon: So basically all you have to do is...
Sora: Swing this thing around and hope I hit something?
Sora: Then it's settled. The three of us will set off on our perilus journey to find my friends and save the universe.
Yuffie: Erm yeah about that...
(Soldier heartless appear)
Leon: Well that magic trick back fired! Yuffie go!
Donald: (In the other room) Bathroom break. (Gets it by door)
Leon: Hey Sora wanna see another magic trick?
(Soldier falls out the window)
Goofy: Cool Donald! You look like that girl from The Grudge.
Donald: I hate you!
Goofy: (On a balcony) How the hell did we get up there?
Donald: Isn't it obvious goofy? The editors got bored.
Goofy: You dont think we're gonna mess up do ya?
Donald: We'll show those editors who's boss. (Gets knocked off balcony with Goofy) Damn you Auron225!!! (Lands on Sora)
Sora: Oww damnit!!
Goofy: This reminds me of an awkward dream I had.
Donald: Look it's the key!
Goofy: Ice cream cone!!
Goofy: But where are all the surveilence?
Goofy: But its Traverse Town. I thought there were people. (Soldiers appear) At least we dont have to fight a giant knight.
(Guard Armour appears)
Goofy: Aww damnit!
Sora: Here's a trick Leon taught me! (Guard armour collapses) Guard Armour explode no jutsu! (Slap) Oww what was that for?
Donald: I'm the magician here.
Sora: It got the job done didn't it?
Donald: This is why I don't like kids.
Sora: Me Sora.
Donald: We can talk jackass!
Leon: Holy crap a talking duck.
Goofy: But I can talk too.
Sora: (Everyone laughs) Adorable!
Sora: I'm on a desparate search to find my friends.
Donald: You can always travel with us in our gummi ship.
Sora: Does it taste as good as it sounds?
Goofy: Are you sure you want him to come with us? He looks kinda funny.
Donald: It doesn't matter, I didn't know you were a dog until two hours ago. It's better than leaving him with these psychopaths.
Leon: Ahem. Now Sora you be a good boy and no swearing.
Sora: Ok Leon.
Donald: If you're going to travel with us, you can't be that depressed ok? Come on now smile.
Donald: Come on!
Goofy: We have candy.
(Final Fantasy Fanfare)
Sora: What the hell do you think you're looking at? What!?
Donald and Goofy: (Laughs)
Sora: (Sarcasm) Oh ha ha ha.
Donald: I'm Donald the duck.
Goofy: I'm Goofy the retarded dog beast.
Sora: I'm Sora. The boy with the key.
Goofy: All for one and one for all.
Sora: Aaah! There's a keyhole on my hand! Squish it!
Goofy: Does anybody else need to go to the bathroom?
Donald: Oh God!